it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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