Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
