glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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