the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The feeling are messing with the penis
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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