awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
