its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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