Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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