I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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