Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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