I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
