i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She's the barista slut.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
