She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
