I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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