I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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