i jhust puked up my retainher.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
