Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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