Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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