I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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