so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
