if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
