You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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