i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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