guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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