I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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