She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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