it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
