She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think people are normalizing furries
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
