Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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