he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i need some magic done to my vagina
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
