Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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