coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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