im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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