they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's blow job season.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
