Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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