her vagina looked like bernie madoff
well you can't waste a boner
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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