I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
