Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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