i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
