And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
