How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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