so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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