Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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