my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
