this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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