I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
