areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
