Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Randomize
