im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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