Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
