Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
did i walk over a car last night?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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