Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
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I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
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i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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