I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on