You don't have asthma, your pregnant
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.