Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
