sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
