At least make sure they are 18
Why
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
