hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
