I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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