im six kinds of drunk right now
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize