This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
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My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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