D3 body, D1 cock
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
