I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize