I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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