i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
