I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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