how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
