She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
