we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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