tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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