bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
