She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
