Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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