I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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