she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
