these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
