I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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