She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
