I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How does it feel to date your dad?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
