on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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