Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
