i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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