a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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