I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I pour the whiskey from now on
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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